Florida is notorious for it’s crazy, whacked-out criminals and bizarre news headlines. Almost everybody has heard about Florida Man…
If you haven’t, you can read all about him here: Tremendous Things Florida Men Accomplished this Year.
And another run down here catches quite a few more: Year in Florida Man 2015.
He’s not one guy. He’s the beginning of many of the bizarre news headlines that come out of Florida or other places where Florida Man has visited.
“Florida Man Throws Alligator into Wendy’s Drive Thru Window”
“Florida Man Tries to Rob Liquor Store with Dead Sting Ray”
“Florida Man Arrested in Utah After Calling 911 Eighty Times to Report Chicken McNuggets Shortage”
“Florida Man Breaks into Jail to Visit Friends”
But he’s not alone. He’s in the company of quite a few Florida Women as you can see here: 50 Most Insane Florida News Headlines of All Times.
And if you would like to keep up with the latest, you can follow @_FloridaMan and @_FloridaWoman on Twitter.
Other states have weirdos, but Florida seems to produce them quicker than feral cats multiply. Why?
Let’s look at the possibilities:
- The weather is too nice to stay in school, so ignorance is rampant.
- Intense exposure to sunshine fries brain cells.
- Governor Rick Scott refuses to accept Federal aid for mental health.
- Sand in their underwear causes constant irritation.
- There is more alcohol consumed than water.
- There is meth in the salt shakers.
- Other states give their criminals bus tickets to Florida upon release.
- Pesticides and herbicides from all the golf courses have warped their DNA.
- Lightening causes an altered acceptable level of reality.
- Our jail cells are more comfortable than our affordable hotels or homeless shelters.
I’m not sure if any of my theories are correct, but I’m positive it’s never going to change. These bizarre criminals are getting younger and younger. Since 2011, there have been three stories of teens dressing up as physicians and working in hospital E.R.s and CCUs, even OB/GYN clinics and getting away with it for months…not days, but months.
How do we let this happen?
Seriously. We’re as messed up as the criminals.
What’s your theory?
